Alright ya’ll – in this “era” of yoga and meditative spirituality, where the Buddha has become more of a trendy knick knack to sit on a dorm room desk and The Celestine Prophecy a faddish read at the coffee shop: let’s talk about the virtues of patience and awareness and, AND, even if you’re not a practicing Buddhist such as myself – you don’t even have to be a trendy one – we can all still hold onto these virtues and try to practice them everyday.

A BREAKTHROUGH! I found the PERFECT medium a few years ago. The airplane.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but nothing is worse than that asshole who practically barrels over you to get ONE person ahead of you in line while de-boarding the plane. And what’s worse is…we’ve probably all done it at some point in time. We’re going to miss that connection if we don’t gain the zero seconds from pushing in front of one person only to find ourselves at another complete standstill. Because then there’s always the next asshole who takes five years to take his bag out of the overhead compartment when he could easily reach up and around from the aisle seat while the rest of us who are so perfect can race by.

Folks…really. Jumping out of your seat right before, right as, or immediately after the glorious “ding” is NOT going to award you bonus miles or more than 30 extra seconds to speed walk to your connection. In the process of your anxious and panicky rushing, you are making other people uncomfortable and panicky, and you’re probably pushing people over with yourself and your bags. Is it really worth it? The cabin door is still closed, so you’re going have to wait, whether you like it or not.

And I know it’s hard to believe, but the aisle we scurry down to take our seats while boarding is not as spacious as your driveway. Maybe it’s the pressure of the person behind you sighing and rolling their eyes that creates this sense of urgency to rush to your seat faster than the speed of light. But in the process of being completely consumed in yourself and your travel plans, you may fail to notice one small but important fact: there is not enough room to carry your bag at your side. That means folks, yes, if you carry it anywhere other than completely vertical to your body or over your head, you are more than likely whacking every single aisle sitter in the head on the way down. Heh. And we laugh in the one scene of Airplane where the nun ignorantly almost takes out half the flight with her guitar.

So my point – try something different. Take a deep breath. Maybe two. Sit down. Sit calmly. And the biggest challenge of them all: try to remain in this meditative position after the “ding,” and only rise to your feet when the traffic in the aisle in front of you begins to move. Feel how nice it is to let the aisles before you out, and to maybe even help someone get their bag out of the overhead bin that is ten aisles behind them. Then hit the ground running when you get into the terminal.